Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Two Teenagers




Two teenagers. One girl. One boy. Autumn. An empty street with cobblestones, except for two people. A tender breeze that carresses faces. Rain drops illuminated by the rays of sun, not visible to the bare eye. A rainbow that leans upon the sky.

I stop the moment, your hand wrapped around mine, the colors in our smile.

- No! Stop... This is not the end... It is not over yet. You never said it. If only...

- There are no "if only"s. There is none. There is only now. Now.

A teenager. One boy. Summer. An empty street with cobblestones, except for one person. A rebellious wind slashing faces. Eye-drilling, dark raindrops that blind the sun. Thunderstorms, tearing the sky into pieces.

- Wait! You are alone. You are here...

I cannot hold on to time. Easy is born from difficult. You were always the one sleeping inside me. It has always been like that.

- Crying takes courage. A smile is yet effortless. Wait, not yet! To the past. The dance, music. There was only dance. A bit more to the past...

- You love dancing. Life is your dancefloor. 

- Dancing. To be one with two bodies. Maybe that's what I loved.

- People do not like being alone. They always look for something missing, yearn to be complete, yearn to have someone next to them. 

- One. Only one... How selfish... Even though we were apart, even so...

- You don't have to say it. We know it. We always knew it. Since the beginning.

Two teenagers. One girl. One boy. A timbered claret red dancefloor smelling fresh wood. On the side, the musician with a stubble and a bowler hat, playing his accordion. Right besides him, the guitarist accompanying him and the solist in the front, singing the notes out of her heart. Two bodies on the dance floor. Or only one?

- Listen! Just listen....

It would only be you. Your smell would be the one I would seek. Like my blanket. Like the one I wrap myself into when I am cold. As if I would touch the tips of your hair whenever I felt like I am falling down.

- You are me. "You are me.", what does it mean? Being a part of someone else? Being someone else? Is it like being a part of a puzzle? Is it completing the other? Or existing together? You are me. Are you the one who complements me? 

- Do not name it. Only trust. Everything around you are born with you. When you are gone, they are also gone. When you are gone, I am gone... Time. Deeper into the past... The car. Remember the car. It was there...

Two teenagers. One girl. One boy. Winter. A car on the street, covered with a blanket of snow. Claret red sky. One street lamp shakily lightening the street and the car in the middle of it. Two pairs of eyeballs flickering at each other in the darkness. Reflection of one on the other.

Forgive me. If my eyes cannot spell the truth. If they are speechless. Without words, sounds, tears. Lest they defy what's on the tip of my tongue. Please forgive me.

- It was too close. A second away. A milimeter away. It just slipped away... Why do we let happiness slip away so easily and choose to have pain, when it is obviously there, that close, that innocent, that natural? 

- We are not aware! We are so addicted to drama, to what is happenning on the cover that we do not have a second to look what is inside. What is right next to us, right around us, surrounding us. We believe time will heal the wounds, although we already have the cure within us, winking at us from deep inside.

- Like you.

- Like you.

- Let's go to the beginning. To the very beginning. Years ago...

- Beginnings are born from endings. But you already know that...

- And endings are born to give birth to the beginnings, aren't they?

Two teenagers. One girl. One boy. Spring. A street with cobblestones, full of life, full of people. Two eyeballs meeting each other in the crowd. Two bodies, irressistibly being attracted to each other. Two bodies, moving towards each other as if the street is empty.

- It is here. Wait...

She will be the love. She will have the most comfortable place in my heart. The crowd will be our background music. The smell of coffee will be our wallpaper.

- There have been many beginnings in my life. All led to endings. Some good, some bad. Some worse, some better than the others. I never thought about the destination. They were all like waves in the ocean, that rised and dissolved in me. You have been the one to grab my hand as I was about to drown. You have been the one who showed me the ocean when I was struggling with the waves. Only you, did not end. We were always there for each other. Without expectations...

- I never wanted to end. I feared that I would destroy "the you" inside me. Do you really want to see the ending?

- Does it really exist?

- I was always afraid of break-ups, goodbyes, endings. Maybe I never showed it, but I always feared losing you. But it is time... It is there. To the end... To the very end...

Two teenagers. One girl. One boy. Autumn. An empty street with cobblestones, except for two people. A tender breeze that carresses faces. Rain drops illuminated by the rays of sun, not visible to the bare eye. A rainbow that leans upon the sky.

I stop the moment, your hand wrapped around mine, the colors in our smile. Our heads leaning on each other. Then I do not let it go. I just let it be...

- If the ending has always been this beautiful, why did we wait that long to reach it?

- We enjoyed the journey. It was the journey that made the ending worthwile. The things we did with each other, for each other. We would eventually reach it. We just let it arrive.

- We never hurried. Everything moved towards the end. We grew in each other over time. We became one. The waves were always there, carrying us to the destination, while we became one with the ocean. But I do not understand one thing. This does not look like an "ending" at all. Why call it an end?

- People always strive for an end, for the destination. They always want to see what is out there, what is there to reach. Always suffering to avoid the ending, yet drowning themselves under the waves to reach there faster. 

- We were already there from the beginning. Our beginning was indeed the ending. We never wondered what the destination would be. The time stopped for us and we never noticed that! We lived this beginning and this ending in every single second we were together... Wait... I... I... I love you! I love you!!! Goodbye! Goodbye!

I am all around you.
On your right, left, back.
In your sound, smile, tears.
In your night and in your day.
You were and I was.
Time stopped and we were.




One teenager. One girl. Autumn.





Erol
June 24, 2015



Photo source: https://themerna.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/boy-girl-holding-hands1.jpg


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